You’re thinking of hosting a picnic, you’ve got your Picnic Kit, you’ve got your candles, flowers and hopefully catering (unless you ain’t eating, in which case, do the picnic for the gram). Have you considered personalised name tags to show guests where they are sitting? Otherwise, they won’t know where to sit and anarchy will reign. See below the ingredients for a perfect picnic
Location, location, location
Sydney, Australia is the most incredible place to host a picnic with over 70 harbour and ocean beaches. Why not have a picnic by the sea? Check out our article on the best picnic spots in the Eastern Suburbs. If it’s raining, why not set up an indoor picnic? If you have a backyard, by all means, set up in a backyard. Make sure you give people the exact coordinates of your picnic, there is nothing worse than sending someone to Waverley, Scotland, as opposed to Waverley, Sydney (trust me, I know).
Food
Let’s be honest, did you ever get invited to birthdays as a kid? Let’s hope you did, and if you didn’t, now’s the time for you to control the guest list and not invite Michaela who bullied you in primary school. Whip up some fairy bread - this presents a great opportunity to relive that nostalgic feeling of playing pass the parcel, eating crackles and being sent home after having a tantrum aged 22. I have not been to a single party in 2022 where the plate of fairy bread has been left uneaten. The following outlines how to make fairy bread, it’s cheap, effective and delicious (like me).
Fairy bread
1 loaf of the cheapest, nastiest white bread you can find
1 punnet of the cheapest, nastiest margarine you can find (IT NEEDS TO BE SPREADABLE!)
1 packet of sprinkles.
Lay out all your bread, spread one side with margarine. Make sure you spread it to the edges of the bread to ensure maximum coverage. Now, you can either pour your sprinkles into a bowl and dip your buttered bread in, or you can sprinkle (no other word for it) your sprinkles over the top. Up to you. Lather, rinse and repeat for all 16 slices of bread. This part is the most important part: CHOP INTO TRIANGLES. Eat 12 pieces, serve to guests.
Beverages
We recommend having a combination of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Otherwise, bring a bottle of wine, ask everyone to bring a bottle of wine, and if anyone wants water, I’m sure they can find a water bubbler or a nearby garden hose if desperate (unlike me).
People
See previous statement about Michaela.
We do a range of picnics for birthdays, engagement parties, baby showers, puppy parties, proposals and even weddings. Make sure people RSVP and confirm that they’re coming because there’s a difference between hiring tables for 4 and 20 people, you hear that Dave?
Theme
Look fabulous. Make sure you specify if there is a theme. If your eyes are blue, why not suggest that everyone wears blue so that their outfits compliment your eye colour? (and when I say compliment, I mean complement ;) but people should compliment your eye colour, you gorgeous thing, you). Also, don’t tell someone to dress as a clown unless you need a clown and they are a professional clown (it’s cruel, and unnecessary, unless they’re Michaela).
Games
Whip out the Finska. This is a great opportunity to get fit, get active and have fun with your friends. Games and activities are a great way to keep your guests entertained, the only issue is not to get too competitive. Remember it’s a Saturday and you are a father, John, this isn’t the Olympics.
Other tips
All of this too difficult to think about with global warming and your manicure being the wrong shade of pink? Why not give your friend a Picnic Kit gift card? Then hopefully they can host a picnic and invite you and all you need to do is rock up looking fabulous wearing blue.
XOXO Picnic Kit
michaela is the worst.